42. The Money Nerve feat. Bob Wheeler

Season #1

Gratitude + Abundance: Bob Wheeler on Transforming Your Financial Mindset

Do you want to break free from the cycle of emotional spending? Bob Wheeler has the solution to help you discover and manage your financial triggers so that you can achieve financial freedom and peace of mind.

"If we can get to that root of what am I trying to prove, we can understand our financial sabotage." - Bob Wheeler

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

  • Unearth hidden money beliefs and narratives shaping your financial life.
  • Transform your financial story by embracing new, empowering beliefs.
  • Develop a mindset of abundance and gratitude, rather than just amassing wealth.
  • Tackle emotions and lean on support systems to break free from financial struggles.
  • Discover yourself and seize control of your personal finances for a brighter future.

Bob Wheeler is a finance guru with a twist. Bob is dedicated to helping individuals break free from their emotional spending habits and rewrite their money story. With a background in psychology and a successful career as a CPA, Bob brings a refreshing approach to personal finance. He's a firm believer in open conversations, introspection, and gratitude as the keys to achieving abundance in life. If you're tired of feeling trapped in a cycle of emotional spending and want to gain control over your finances, Bob's expertise will guide you on the path to financial freedom and well-being.


The resources mentioned in this episode are:

  • Journaling: Bob recommends starting with journaling to excavate your money story. Write down what you remember hearing about money from family, religion, culture, and society. Look for absolutes or rules you have made about money that may not be serving you.

  • Set Ground Rules: When engaging in a conversation about money with a partner or family member, Bob suggests setting ground rules upfront. Agree to take a break if emotions get too charged and avoid blaming or using absolutes.

  • Forgiveness: Forgiveness is an important part of the process. Acknowledge the grief and anger you may feel about past money decisions, and work towards forgiveness for yourself and others.

  • Gratitude: Practice gratitude for what you do have, even if it's not material wealth. Focus on abundance as a mindset, rather than a specific accumulation of wealth.

  • Bob's Course: Bob offers a course on his website that focuses on creating a healthy relationship with money. Check it out: https://themoneynerve.com/ 

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:00 - Introduction,
00:01:52 - Having Conversations Around Money,
00:05:16 - Understanding Your Money Story,
00:09:13 - Changing Your Money Story,
00:12:54 - The Importance of Laughter and Fun in Money,
00:13:01 - Defining Abundance,
00:14:44 - Gratitude Shift,
00:18:29 - Breaking the Cycle of Scarcity,
00:22:43 - Money and Identity,
00:24:16 - Seeking Support,
00:26:27 - The Power of Reflection,
00:27:59 - Coping with Pressure,
00:30:09 - The Money Nerve,
00:33:31 - Test Your Nerve,
00:35:36 - Going Through the Fire,

"Look at the cost benefit of my current story and do I want something different?" - Bob Wheeler

Understanding Your Money Story

Money stories consist of unconscious beliefs and rules shaped during our childhood, influenced by external voices like family, religion, and culture. These stories are deeply ingrained, affecting our decisions and perspectives concerning our relationship with money. Learning to understand your money story allows you to identify any potentially harmful beliefs that could be holding you back financially. By acknowledging the factors that shaped these beliefs, you can start to challenge and change them, thereby improving your financial situation. Bob Wheeler explains that people should excavate their unconscious money beliefs through methods like journaling or talking out loud. The process can be uncomfortable and emotional, uncovering strong feelings like grief and anger. However, Wheeler encourages embracing these emotions and being gentle with oneself while exploring their money story. This understanding can be an essential step toward changing one's financial relationship and setting a trajectory for a healthier financial future.

Changing Your Money Story

Once you've identified your current money story, it's time to decide whether a new narrative would be more beneficial. It's essential to weigh the costs and benefits of your current belief system and how it affects your financial decisions. If your beliefs are preventing you from achieving your goals or realizing your full potential, change may be necessary. In the podcast, Bob Wheeler advises focusing on new beliefs and values that align with your vision for your life. He highlights the importance of embracing forgiveness and gratitude, both in acknowledging any setbacks in your financial journey and appreciating the progress you've made so far. By actively working to change your money story, you can create a more empowered financial mindset.

"We have to become aware of our unconscious story, every story has a cost." - Bob Wheeler

The Money Nerve

The Money Nerve refers to the emotional reactions people have to financial matters. Just like relationships with loved ones, emotional ties to money can be intense and deeply ingrained. Learning how to navigate these emotions and acknowledging their impact on financial decisions is crucial for achieving financial stability and growth. Bob Wheeler discusses his book, The Money Nerve, during the podcast episode. He highlights the importance of exploring one's financial story to understand any fears and emotions connected to it. The book guides readers through a self-discovery journey, encouraging them to be more intentional with their money and focus on emotional growth alongside financial growth.

"Gratitude is more about a mindset versus actually accumulating dollars or properties." - Bob Wheeler

Defining Abundance

Abundance isn't just about accumulating wealth; it also includes nurturing gratitude for what you already have. Recognizing the smaller joys in life, like spending time with loved ones or being able to travel, contributes to a mindset of abundance, which positively impacts your relationship with money. Adopting a balanced perspective on financial success and personal satisfaction is important for maintaining a healthy attitude toward wealth. During the podcast, Bob Wheeler shares his experience in Africa, observing people who were content despite their lack of material wealth. This revelation inspired him to practice gratitude and appreciate his abundance in both tangible and intangible ways. By embracing this mindset shift, listeners can foster an attitude that focuses on cherishing what they have while still striving for growth.

"The relationship with money, like any good relationship, you have to keep working at it." - Bob Wheeler

Seeking Support

Dealing with financial emotions and changing your money story can be a challenging process. Seeking support from trusted individuals can help you navigate these difficult changes and provide valuable insights. It's important to find support systems that work for you, whether that's friends, accountability partners, therapists, or coaches. Wheeler advises podcast listeners to avoid relying solely on family members for support, especially if they contributed to the problematic money beliefs in the first place. He emphasizes the importance of being honest about your financial struggles and seeking assistance from people who can provide objective guidance. By connecting with supportive networks and maintaining open dialogue, individuals can create a more balanced and healthy relationship with their finances.

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